The Zombies are Everywhere

Kevin was walking up the street. It was about 5:15 pm and he was on his way home from work. This is Kevin’s usual routine, it works out well since he and his family live quite close to where he works. I know this because Kevin is a good friend of mine, and today I’m sitting on the curb outside his house.

“What’s up Brian? Why are you just sitting outside my house?”

“Kevin, I have to tell you something…”

“Sure man, come on in and we’ll grab a beer.” Kevin started walking toward his door.

“Yeah Kevin, about that. You might not want to go inside.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to go in my house?” He was starting to sound more serious. I had to tell him why I was here.

“Well, I have something hard to tell you… I had to save the town from the zombie plague that had infected your family.. I’m sorry Kevin.” I put my arm around his shoulders.

“What the hell are you talking about! My family had the flu, you know the one that’s been on the news.”

“That’s what they wanted you to think Kevin, I know this is hard but…” Then it came back to me. I did remember all that crap about the flu on the news. In fact, I was pretty sure that’s what I had had the other week. It had been a real bugger to shake off too.

Fuck!

I knew this probably wasn’t going to go over well. But I had to say something. “That’s alright Kev, I’ve got great news for you.”

“What, that you’re full of it, my family is fine, and your still going to take a beer from me?”

“Not exactly…” I walked a little closer to the door of Kevin’s house and turned to him. “I have definitely saved your family from becoming infected with the zombie plague!”

“What?”

“Yeah, the whole flu thing explains a lot. But they were really out of it you know? I was sure they were zombies. Although it does explain why your wife was so upset when I went after the kids. Can’t have little things sneaking up and taking a chunk out of your hamstring while you deal with the bigger more obvious zombies.”

“Oh my god!! Why!!”

Apparently I’d gotten a little over involved in my own “after action” speech and Kevin had gone into his house. I decided this would probably be one of those good times to wander back to ye old safe house and further detail what may have gone wrong. Every good hunter has a few mistakes in his often short but brilliantly graphic career. But we have to learn from every opportunity. Kind of like Paul’s sister being an Irish girl with no ability to tan and not an evil vampire.