Which are You?
There are some things in life that can be debated. Like if vanilla or chocolate is better. Whether rap is a clear signal to the end of humanity. Or if intelligent design is actually worse than the Earth being flat as a theory.
Some things cannot be debated…
After all, zombies are technically alive. And if you kill zombies you are killing an alive-ish thing.
Luckily in the Pro-life vs. Anti-zombie debate I have made a clear black and white decision. I hate zombies… a lot. I have plans to stockpile weapons for the sole purpose of being ready, you know, just in case. And I’m not one of those conservative crazies who has a gun fetish. No, I have much more practical concerns.
After all, if you have slowly spent you life creating the impenetrable bunker of doom (by zombie standards at least) there are some perks. Your bunker becomes legendary, and survivors tend to like that sort of thing. And all those hot chicks who thought you were a bit strange they totally start think you’re brilliant and heroic pretty soon.
So remember kids, next time someone tells you they are Pro-Life, you are looking not at your neighbor, but one more brain meat for the coming zombie invasion.
And if the zombies don’t work out… Well, you can always try hitting on republican chicks.
Hmm. Actually, zombies are created due to a “Zombie Virus” of some sort. The Human is bitten, infected, slowly killed, and then re-animated as a Zombie. Since Viruses are neither alive nor dead, you are only killing a disease, and protecting and promoting life.
–dj
[...] You can’t be both Pro-Life and Anti-Zombie debate. So this guy on this website posted an interesting debate. That I’m about to totally destroy. …After all, zombies [...]
Unfortunately your argument attributing zombies as only a disease is weak.
The Solanum virus used in “The Zombie Survival Guide” by Max Brooks is to at least some moderate extent informed by George Romero movies. This is significant because zombies in these and related movies show that zombies learn and adapt to environments. In some they go so far as coordinating and communicating in some way.
This would qualify the zombies as sentient, even if only minimally. Therefore they meet the life standard beyond simply being a disease host.
Ah yes, but you must then ask yourself, “Do I really want to die because I want to let this flesh-eating object live?”
If you are pro-life, does that include yourself? If you are pro-life, then you must protect your own existence and that of others, which is nearly impossible when concerning zombies, because if you hug a zombie, your face may go missing.
Also, Zombies are commonly classified as the “walking dead.
(Thank you for making my week and responding to something I write. Every time I do a blog, it never kicks off, and I leave it to rot and waste space. And you’re helping out my debating skills, which suck. Seriously dude, you made my week.)
–dj
Wait, did I just disprove myself?
If you protect your own existence by killing a zombie, you are being pro-life AND anti-zombie. That was the general statement that I just attempted to spit out in that last comment.
–dj
I have the same problem with not getting comments on most things I write, so also thank you for taking the time!
Indeed by killing zombies you are protecting life, and they are often called simply ‘the walking dead’
However, the way I see it is that you have to accept that by protecting your own life you may have to kill something else ‘alive’. I put it in the same category as killing a bear that attacks your family, not a very pro-life thing to do, but you have to do it.
It is a huge step to include zombies in ‘things that are alive’ but if you do, then I feel that it follows the same argument.
Aaand you both made my week. I happen to be doing a project that has to emphasize a current politician’s position on life vs. choice, and have come upon your site in the searches. “You can’t be both pro-life and anti-zombie” really caught my attention. I never would have considered this clearly controversial debate, and now that I have, my day (slash night) is just a little brighter.
Thank you,
A. Monet
Chris Schaffer Reply:
October 1st, 2008 at 8:32 am
Glad I could give you something smile about and maybe even add a fun twist to your project!