Telling Others About Loss
Written by Chris Schaffer on June 23, 2008 – 4:14 pm -As some of you know (mostly my close friends who read here) I lost my mother January 31, 2007. It is now coming very close to the five month mark since it happened, and I have realized something. I don’t tell people about it in.
Excluding family I can probably come very close to being able to count the people I have personally told about my mother’s death on two hands. It has occurred to me before, but distantly, that this might be odd. It has simply not been something I share with many people unless they ask about family. There have been a few people I told directly, but the number is small. Apparently it turns out that I’m one of those guys who doesn’t spread bad news.
I keep thinking that maybe I should reverse that trend to some degree… probably that is the point of this post. It gives me a rather indirect way to communicate what has happened.
Have you dealt with loss in the family?
How did you bring it up to friends, or did you bring it up with many friends?
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Tags: death, depression, health, Life, loss, recovery
Posted in Life |
June 24th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
My mom was killed in a car accident many years ago. It took me months to feel human again and years to not feel incredibly sad when it was her birthday, Mother’s Day or the anniversary of her death.
Now, in a strange way I see her death as a gift because it was ‘the’ event that started my spiritual exploration.
Once I let go of my grief I could easily feel my mother’s loving presence. We have a closer relationship now than when she was alive. I would give anything to be able to hug her again or hear her voice or see her walk into a room. My Hawaiian kumu (teacher) calls death changing address. She reminds people that all their loved ones did is drop their bodies. They didn’t die they jut changed address.
I find comfort in that. I am sorry for your loss.
With love,
Susan
Reply to Susan
June 26th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Susan, thank you for your story. It is definitely a process of trying to get back to normal. I like how your teacher termed things, it is a very positive way to deal with death and move on to accepting it and not being held back from life.
Reply to Chris Schaffer