The Wholeness Question
Spinsterella, at Don’t Catch It Up, asked an interesting question in her latest post. That question, specifically, is: what is wholeness or what does it mean to be whole?
A more intrinsic part of this question is how do we be whole and broken at the same time. It may seem a paradox, but over time I have found that it is certainly not. A few things that have helped me arrive at the answer below have been reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (I have read this particular gem three times and have a fourth reading planned), Stranger in a Strange Land, and practicing yoga with my friends and a number of good talk that have followed our weekend sessions.
The most simple answer is this… At this moment we are just as we should be. This may be the most important part of wholeness. We may be able , may even need, to improve but at this moment where are where we should be. It is that acceptance of the self that creates wholeness in my mind. Every fault, break, and problem is accepted because they are a part of every way in which we are a positive and growing being.
A great deal of literature deals with healing. I think healing from the breaks in our life is important, but I also feel we have focused to much on healing. I like to think of psychological healing in much the same way as a broken arm. Once a bone breaks, there is very little you can do about it. In most cases you should probably see a doctor to get some professional help. Even after that though, in everyday life there is not a whole lot you can do. You can avoid anything that will hurt the arm more, keep it safe, and follow doctor’s orders. However, staring at the cast will not speed up the knitting of bone. Personal problems don’t get better under intense scrutiny either. Big problems may need some guidance from a psychologist or therapist but beyond that the best way to heal is to go on living and let the healing take place in its own time and way. Once again I believe this related back into the idea of wholeness above.
At least one commenter on the post from Spinsterella spoke of “surrendering to a higher power.” I prefer to avoid higher powers myself, but there is a great deal of power in this. Some give themselves to God, I give myself to Yoga… Trust me, the parallel will be clear soon.
A big part of yoga is to stop focusing on the conscious self. Becoming one with your breath is not an attempt to get deeper inside ourselves but to free ourselves from thought and become one with something external. It is a gradual elimination of the ego. It is also an elimination of thought. If you picture the brain as a muscle this makes more sense. If you constantly use a muscle it becomes tired, sore, and not very good at doing what it needs to. If we let go of the ego, let go of the constant thoughts about who we are, how we are right now, how we could be better, and all the questions about why we may not be better we take a great deal of tension of that muscle. Then when we need to really apply our ability to reason we have a fresh muscle that produces clear thoughts.
This is the same process in accepting a higher power. We give up our ego to something above us. We accept how we are and that we are as we should be in the eyes of a creator.
All that said, how whole am I? Good question. Some days I am much more at one with myself and accepting of what my wholeness embodies. Other days I could be said to be a fair wreck. I feel that I am getting closer to personal wholeness because even on bad days I am more able to say “and this is where I am today,” without being nearly as critical as I formerly was.
So, focus less on being broken, focus less on being whole, focus less on healing. You are where you are today, you are where you are in this moment. Let the wholeness of that acceptance fill you, and let yourself be empty for it.
Wow–this was a very good post! Being an ontologist, I was, of course, thinking that this was going somewhere else entirely. Wholeness, I had thought, would lead to how we separate things into discrete objects . . . my relational ontology stuff. Now, I wonder if that would be classified as wishful thinking or confirmation bias gone awry? I haven’t even thought about relational ontology in a while, but HAVE thought about yoga and human holism recently. Explain that, Mr. Psych-guy!
Chris Schaffer Reply:
September 24th, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Thank you!
I can see how your mind would think this was on a different topic. Following the link to the post I am replying to will also explain the topic some.
As for wishful thinking vs. confirmation bias. I would go with wishful thinking. Something about confirmation bias doesn’t quite ring right, but I also have a limited understanding of it.
Now to explain your thoughts and the synchronicity of this post. You are currently watch people flounder about helplessly in your courses. Their being whole beings would probably help that. Yoga is one way to that, though it is also a great way to deal with the stress associated with dealing with them. Thus your thoughts. Everything else is just coincidence.
*wipes sweat off brow*
The invoice is in the mail.