Happy Birthday – Eat Your Cake
Happy Birthday Catherine!
- From Uncle Chris
The Great Debate
So, being that I am now staying with the girl, it is a necessity that I make highly theoretical jokes at her expense.
For those of you who know, she happens to have a family history of being French. My side of the family has more of a tendency to be either very American or German. This set of conditions creates a conundrum.
Being German, I may have indeed conquered her. I may have even declared “all your base are belong to us.” However, being very American, should I also liberate her? Or have I already done this in the process of conquering? This is an important question!
After all, on the outcome of this internal debate, I will have to raise either an American or German victory flag. I could be nice and actually declare her a liberated woman and fly her own flag like we did after WWII, but look how that turned out. Now France is snobish and has a workable nuclear power solution that allows a great deal of energy independence!
Or if I follow WWI logic will I force myself to pay punitive reparations to her?
I may need to call an expert…
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So Cute it Hurts
Yeah… Look at the cute owls… they are painfully cute.
Today I leave on my way back to Massachusetts for a bit of a stay to see the girlfriend. How long will I be there? Good question! Luckily I have posts actually scheduled – mostly images and random commentary – rather than simply going silent for a long period of time like usual.
So, while you stare at the cute owls, I’ll be getting on a train and praying that my car is either empty or filled with very quiet people who have no screaming children that I may have to throw off the train.
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I’d Hit That
“I’d Hit That”
You hear kids say that a lot these days. Hell, you hear me and my friends say it quite a bit these days, although we mostly do it for satire. But really, where did all the creativity go?
Why not hit it like Odin? Or for that matter, dance it out of creation like Shiva? Or my personal favorite, hit it like the fist of angry god. that shows the kind of dedication that girls are looking for these days… ok, maybe only a very small subset of girls these days, at least if you believe the media.
However, if a girl overhears you come up with a creative turn of phrase like that she will be much more likely to at least have a nice giggle before becoming full of bitter rage at your infantile ability to do nothing with your life than rank every woman that walks by as either a “hit it” or “hit it with a ten foot pole.” Besides, it takes a certain amount of stellar creativity to come up with the sort of run-on sentences I do.
Remember, you’re buddies will also give you +5 man points if you can use Samuel L. Jackson, Chuck Norris, or the Pope in a hit it phrase.
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Think About Your Logo
The Dreams Project is a quite noble film project to document the training of young athletes for the 2012 Olympics. I just wanted to say that, because I think the idea is great, and it had to be said before I make fun of this particular poster they made for it.
I hate to be a dirty evil man. But really, if your logo is “DP” and anything that involves the word dream; having a cute blonde in a kneeling position is really not going to give people the right mindset.
Sure she has the jersey and the sports shoes, but so does every porn film ever set in a gym.
So, I say to all you aspiring graphic designers out there… Remember, there are people like me out there, and we will turn anything that has even the most meager possibility of dirt into the kind of filth that will make a sailor smile.
